Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
foreskin is a definite game changer
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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