the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
