you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
