May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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