PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
