what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
