Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
