I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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