im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
People with herpes should wear stickers.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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