Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
This house was built for laser tag.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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