Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
