I can tuck mytits in my pants
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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