I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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