Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
