i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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