what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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