Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
This girl is more easily done than said...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
