You really coming over, don't trick.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
So squirting runs in the family.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
