I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
