I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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