My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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