I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
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this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
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Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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