Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize