So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
