I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
