therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
