My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so let's talk penis.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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