Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
