so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
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