I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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