All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
