I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Vodka?
Forever.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize