Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
