just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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