Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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