Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
