What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
