she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
