I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
