My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
