My room smells like vodka and shame
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
