I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
