I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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