3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We talked him into tasing himself.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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