She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
