She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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