im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
