Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
