Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
