Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
