If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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