hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i would punch a child for taco bell
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
