is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
