I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
did i walk over a car last night?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
