careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
