There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
