Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
even my farts smell like vagina
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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